Grandma's Angel
by dutchtreat
Summary: DL. It's Christmas Eve and Danny is decorating a Christmas tree, but where is Lindsay? A Christmas fairytale. Have a box of tissues ready!
1. Driving home for Christmas

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters except for Lindsay's family. The chapter titles (which I'm sure everyone recognises) are obviously not mine either but titles of famous Christmas songs. The lyrics I've used are from one of my favourite songs from last year "One Word" by Anouk.

**Spoilers: **None

**AN1: **I've been struggling with this story for a long time. I wanted to make a follow up for my previous story "This one night", I wanted to write a song based fic and I really loved to write a Christmas fairy tale. And somehow it got all mixed up in my head. My muse has kept me up quite a few nights debating this story. We finally agreed on this version. It's sweet and it's sad and I hope you like it as much as I do.

**AN2:** Txs to **all the glitters** for pointing out my mistake. I've corrected it.

I don't want to ruin this story with many AN's so I'm only asking once:

**Please read and review (even though the story is completed it's still much appreciated). Thank you!**

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_**Grandma's Angel**_

_Chapter one_

Driving home for Christmas

**I close my eyes**

**And imagine you're here**

**Did it all seem so hopeless?**

**Given the chance**

**I would ask**

**Forgive me**

Only a couple of hours left before she was home. She smiled when she realised she was calling New York home now. But it was home; her job was there, her small –but lovely- apartment was there and most important…Danny was there.

It was the day before Christmas and she had to drive all the way from Washington. Due to extensive snowfall all the airports in New York were closed and her flight from Bozeman was rerouted. The roads were becoming icier every mile. The wheels of her rental car had lost grip quite a few times already, but she had to get home, she had to tell him that everything was going to be alright; that things had not been as worse as she had anticipated. And what would be a better moment to tell him than Christmas Eve. Hopefully he could find it in his heart to forgive her for leaving.

She was really tired. And while staring through her windshield at the hypnotising combination of falling snowflakes and the lights of other cars her mind wandered of again.

**I didn't do a thing to make you stay**

**I didn't say a word to make you stay**

**If I would have known**

**Could I have tried to make it easier?**

**But I didn't do a thing**

**Or say a word**

**One word**

She was gone. He stared out of _their_ office window; looking at the lights of the city, but not really seeing them. She was gone. He knew it was true and he knew there was nothing he could do about it anymore, but on a day like today just thinking about it hurt him so much; if he had only done something to stop her from going…

It was Christmas Eve and the world outside was as white as it had been on that morning when he had said goodbye to her. That wonderful morning after that precious night they had spent together; the memories of that night still brought a smile to his lips.

It had been two weeks before Christmas and he was glad that he had decided to go to her that evening. They had made love by the twinkling lights of her Christmas tree almost the entire night. It had been the most magical experience he had ever had. Every touch, every sigh and every unspoken word had made the night seem even more enchanted.

When she had finally fallen asleep he had held her tight, wishing that night could last forever, never wanting to let her go. But he knew he had to. She had to face the demons that were haunting her, that were keeping them apart. And when she had awoken he had kept his earlier promise not to talk about what was bothering her. Instead they had talked about their Christmas memories.

He had told her stories about the Christmases with his family. Too many people together in a small Staten Island apartment, children running around all excited, the smell of all kinds of food, so much love all around. And he and Louie sneaking of to the living room late at night to check if Santa had already put the gifts under the tree. They were caught by their uncle who had furiously chased them back to their bunk bed. When he had talked about his brother, who was still in a coma, she had hugged him; told him that Louie would be fine, that he had to keep faith.

When it had been her turn to talk about her childhood Christmas memories she had pulled out a white box from under the bed. He could still recall the serene smile on her face when she had opened the lid. When he had looked inside he had seen a number of Christmas decorations in various colours and shapes with on top the most beautiful Christmas angel ever. She had carefully touched each item and had told him the story behind it.

The decorations had been her grandmother's. Since she and Lindsay had always been very close, she had given them to her right before she died and Lindsay had promised her to keep the tradition to wait till Christmas Eve before putting them in a tree.

He had seen the tears fill her eyes when she realised she did not even know where she would be on the day before Christmas, she did not know how long it would take her to work out her problems, when she would be back. And before he had realised what he was doing he had promised her to do the decorating for her.

That memory brought him back to the present. It was almost 10 PM and he had to hurry. He was going to be working on Christmas day and had decided to put a small tree up in _their_ office. The file cabinet in front of the window he was looking out of was the perfect place for the tree. After he put it up there he carefully opened the box she had handed him right before they had went their separate ways and took out the Christmas lights first.

He had finally managed to unravel the string of lights and was just about to put them up in the tree when a sudden sensation of being watched made him turn to look in to the dark hallway.


	2. It's beginning to look a lot like Xmas

_Chapter two_

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

She just loved to watch him. While he was struggling with the lights she couldn't help but laugh. He just looked so adorable. When he was finally ready to put the lights in the tree he had already pushed his glasses up the rim his nose like ten times and his hair looked a mess from the numerous times he had pulled his fingers through it.

Before he put the first light in the tree he had suddenly turned and looked directly at her, as if he sensed her presence. She knew she couldn't be seen in the dark hallway and when he focused his attention on the tree again she decided to stay there a little longer.

He carefully moved around the tree making sure that every light was attached to a branch. When he was content with his work he put the plug in. She felt so sorry for him when she saw the disappointed look on his face once he realised the lights were not working. Clearly frustrated he walked out of the door at the far end of the office heading towards the break room, probably looking for another string of lights.

Since Lindsay inherited the decorations, including those lights, from her grandmother she had dealt with that same problem almost every year. And by now she knew exactly which light was causing the problem. She slid in to the office and quickly touched the second one from the top. Immediately a bright light filled the room. She stood there for a few minutes to gaze at the beautiful tree he had picked out until she heard him return.

**My thoughts unsaid**

**Stuck in my head**

**And it all feels so useless**

**Never forget to give all I have**

**Forgive me**

He didn't know what to do. He had to keep his promise and make sure that her tree was up on Christmas Eve and now those stupid lights weren't working. He had not found another string anywhere so he had to check and fasten all of them one by one to see if one perhaps was loose. When he reached the office door he couldn't believe it when he saw the light in the tree burning bright; probably one of the lights was not properly making contact. He decided to leave it for now and securely check them all the next day.

It was now time to put the decorations in the tree and he carefully took them out of the box. The three silver reindeer her mother had given to her grandmother the year Lindsay's brother Michael, her grandmothers third grandchild, was born he hung near the top of the tree. Next he put in the collection of twelve bright red and blue glass balls that her sister Iris had given to her grandmother the year she had turned twelve. He finished with the collection of figures Lindsay had given to her grandmother in the course of ten years.

The first one, a green trumpet she had bought with her pocket money when she was fifteen years old and wanted to be a trumpet player. After that she had given her one ornament each year until her grandmother died; a pink snowflake –because it just was so beautiful-, a little wooden cottage –to remember the family vacations up in the woods-, a glass teardrop –the year her dog had died-, a golden ballerina's shoe –after she saw 'The Swan Lake' for the first time-, a purple peacock –she had worked a summer at the zoo-, a little white and red Santa –she just loved Christmas-, a silver horseshoe –the year she had started horse riding again, a small teddy bear –it reminded her of the one she had as a child- and finally a tiny blue Cadillac –the car of her dreams-.

Relieved that all her 'memories' were save in the tree he sat down for a bit to admire his work and think about her, until he got up to get the most important item of them all. He took the angel in her golden dress out of the box and softly caressed the curly hair. He smiled when he recalled the angel's story.

**I couldn't do a thing to make you stay**

**And I couldn't say a word to make you stay **

**If I could have known**

**Could I have tried to make it easier?**

**But I couldn't do a thing**

**Or say a word **

**One word **

When he smiled Lindsay knew he was thinking about what she had told him. Her grandmother had made the angel herself when Lindsay was only five years old. She had picked out the fabric and sewed the dress and the lace wings. After that she had glued dozens of little glass beads on to the fabric, making the angel's dress reflect the lights in the tree. When the angel needed hair she had taken a lock of her own silver hair and a lock of Lindsay's golden brown, mixed those up and stitched them on to the angel's head.

Lindsay had loved the idea of the silver and golden hair until a few years later her brother and sister started teasing her with it. They kept calling her 'grandma's angel' and she started to quite dislike that golden angel up in the tree. So to annoy her siblings, who always made sure that the angel stood really straight on top of the tree, she had begun to sneak in to the room every Christmas night and slightly shake the tree to make the angel slide to the side a little.

Danny put the angel on top of the tree. She had made him laugh when she told him that her grandmother probably always knew that she was the one who had done that to the angel. Somehow her spirit was taking revenge; every Christmas since her grandma's death Lindsay had put the angel straight on top of the tree and somehow the next morning it always stood askew.

Still smiling he stepped back to check if the angel stood straight when he heard a familiar voice calling him from the hallway.


	3. It came upon a midnight clear

_Chapter three_

It came upon a midnight clear

"Danny, you're almost ready to go? It's near midnight and I was getting worried about you."

"Yeah, I'm ready. Just hold on a second!"

He switched of the lights in the office, leaving only the lights in the tree burning. The colourful decorated tree almost seemed to be floating in front of the dark window. And he knew she would have loved it. With one last look he walked out of the office to greet the man who was waiting for him.

**Still I don't know why you're gone, now you're gone**

**No beautiful goodbye**

**You will never leave my mind**

Lindsay watched the two men walk towards her. The thought that it was almost midnight freaked her out a little...So little time left...Again too little time. She knew how much she loved him and she knew by know how much he loved her, but it was all too late. Their moment in time had passed and there was no going back.

She couldn't help herself; she had to thank him for keeping her promise to put up the Christmas tree each year. She rushed over to him and placed a kiss on his lips, putting all the love she felt for him in that one touch.

"Danny, you're okay?"

Louie had stopped when he noticed that his brother was no longer walking next to him. As he turned around to see what was keeping him, he saw Danny standing still in the middle of the hall with two fingers pressed to his lips.

"Danny?"

"Lindsay…she is here Louie…I felt her", Danny finally stuttered.

"No, Danny, she's not. You may wish she is, but you and I both know she cannot be here. She hasn't been her for three years. It's just this night…and you…and that tree; you know how you always get the feeling that she's around you more on Christmas Eve."

Danny sighed; "I know. I know you're right, Louie. But this one night a year I always allow myself to think that there is something more to life. There has to be something more. A love like we shared, even though she could never admit it, can not suddenly be lost only because one of us is gone. I have to believe that love is everlasting and that in a way she is always going to be with me no matter where she is. And somehow I believe that on this night she is closer to me than ever and is reaching out to me."

Lindsay so desperately wanted to tell him that he was right. That she _was_ there, she had been there last year and the year before on Christmas Eve. She had been there once every year, ever since that night the steadily falling snow had made her slowly doze off. She had fallen asleep behind the wheel of her car, crashing it on the I-95, three years ago today.

She _had_ come home _that_ night. She had watched him put _her_ tree up in Louie's room all excited when the doctor had come in to tell him that his brother was probably going to wake up before the end of that year. She had been there when Mac walked in to tell him about her deadly accident.

**And it turns out to be so much different than our dreams**

**Now you're,**

**You're a star in heaven**

She had held the love of her life, unaware of her presence, in her arms until the day she was buried. She held him while he grieved and when the angels had come to take her soul up to Heaven she had begged them to give him something to survive, to hang on to. And finally they had released their hold on Louie, who woke up the evening after her funeral…New Years Eve, almost three years ago.

And now, when she watched them walk away together, she was so glad that Louie had finally fully recovered and that he was there for Danny. While still smiling at the two brothers she felt a familiar presence appear next to her.

"It's almost midnight. Are you ready to go again, sweetheart?"

"Yes, grandma, but just let me watch him till he's out of sight", she said when she returned to the window to watch the men exit the building. It had stopped snowing and she watched him walk down the street. On the same spot he had stood earlier that evening she softly said goodbye to him:

"I love you Danny…our souls will be reunited again…one day…because a love like ours _is_ eternal."

**You're a star in heaven now**

At the corner of the street Danny turned once more when he heard the wind whisper. Behind his office window he saw the lights of the Christmas tree. And he didn't know if his mind was playing tricks on him, but it looked like there were two people standing beside it. He smiled through his tears when he recognized them, waved and whispered:

"Merry Christmas, grandma, look after your granddaughter for me. Merry Christmas, Montana, I love you…always."

**You're a star in heaven**

The two women waved back. And before their souls rushed out of the window to join the other twinkling spirits in the clear winter sky, they both giggled like little girls and shook the tree until the angel on top began to move.

**You're my star**

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THE END

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Happy Holiday's Everyone!


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